How I’m Making Sense of Trump’s Unexpected Peace Plan
We're living in strange times when it comes to the Middle East.
And I'm struggling to make sense of it all. For starters, here we have Israel, and more precisely, the Israeli government - a government we all know with the twin aims of:
a) Genocide of the Gazans
b) Annexing Gaza to be part of greater Israel.
This same government, this same genocidal, democratic nation of Israel, is now accepting Trump's peace proposal, which, among other things:
a) Stops the genocide immediately.
b) Will prevent Israeli annexation from ever happening in Gaza.
And more than that, the Israelis are joyful!
Where are the mass protests against this peace proposal, which thwarts their deep-seated genocidal aims?
Where is the anger and gnashing of teeth (after all, if anyone can put on a good mass protest, it's the Israelis, if you saw the protracted anti-government protests prior to October 7, 2023).
But it doesn't stop there.
For the first time since President George W. Bush, the Israeli Knesset (parliament) has invited a US President, President Trump, to address them in light of the recent ceasefire and peace initiative. I initially thought it was so that they could verbally abuse him and throw tomatoes at him for thwarting their genocidal ambitions in Gaza.
But no.
If you look at the video of the Knesset, it was embarrassing how much they were fawning over Trump, Witkoff, and Kushner: the architects of this anti-genocidal, anti-annexationist peace deal.
What's more, Netanyahu - the chief architect of the Gaza genocide - called President Trump ‘the greatest friend that the State of Israel has ever had in the White House’, ('and I've known a few US Presidents', said Netanyahu, Israel's longest serving Prime Minister).
And even more than that, Netanyahu did something nobody expected: he nominated Trump to be the first non-Israeli for the 'Israel Prize' - Israel's highest award (and of course Bibi had already nominated Trump for the Nobel Peace prize).
This was all so bizarre.
Above: Bibi speaking at the Knesset, singing Trump’s praises.
Why would the Israeli Parliament and the Israeli Prime Minister give so much honour and praise to a President who thwarted their genocidal and annexationist ambitions in Gaza?
It's almost as if the Israelis genuinely want peace with their neighbours.
But that can't be right.
They're genocidal and annexationist, remember?
It makes no sense, but I think I've figured it out.
Candace, Tucker and Mearsheimer et. al. think that Bibi, the Mossad, and the Jewish Lobby control Washington. But I think someone should tell them they've got it backwards: the orange-haired President has fantastic powers of mind control over Bibi, over the Knesset, and over large segments of the Israeli population.
It's obvious once you see it (don't thank me all at once for this profound insight).
It's amazing to behold Trump's mind control powers over Israel (President Trump, if you're reading this, you'll need to have another book ghostwritten for you about your secret - we all want to know).
But then it gets even stranger.
(And here, I must confess, it gets a little technical. Feel free to move on if you're bored by genocidal numbers).
Some commentators say that Israel has dropped the equivalent ordinance (bombs, rockets, missiles) of six atomic Hiroshima bombs on Gaza.
Six.
Now, according to UNRWA, 90% of Gaza's *homes* have been destroyed. It's not unlike Berlin at the end of World War 2.
Now, considering Hamas is notorious for not allowing any Gazan civilian to take shelter in their extensive tunnel network (they use their own population as human shields, which even the Nazis didn't do).
And considering Egypt has kept the Rafah crossing closed so that no Gaza civilians can flee the warzone (the strange situation of the surrounding Arab nations calling it a genocide, but then preventing any Palestinians from fleeing said genocide).
Then surely this must mean that close to 90% of Gazan civilians are dead - ok, let's be conservative: considering the above, and considering that 2 million Gazans are crammed into the tiny strip, with the equivalent of six atomic bombs dropped on them over the last two years (an obvious genocide, right?), we would expect at least 50% of the population to be dead.
(After all, the Rwandan Hutus were able to massacre 70-85% of the Tutsi population in the Rwandan genocide - 600,000 people in 100 days - using just machetes and small arms).
But then, something doesn't add up (and I'm still trying to make sense of this).
When you look at Hamas' own numbers, it's not 90%, 50% or even 10% of Gazans dead from this said genocide.
(Around 70K, of which around 20K were Hamas fighters).
In other words, after dropping the equivalent of six atomic bombs on Gaza in the last two years, the IDF has managed to leave 97% of the Gaza population intact.
Is it tragic that 3% have died? Yes. Unbearably so.
But is that a genocide?
I mean, c'mon, we're meant to believe that a bunch of maniacal Hutus 10x'd Israel's genocidal ambitions with mere machetes and machine guns? And in a fraction of the time?
It's almost like the Israelis weren't targeting the civilian population with their six atomic bombs' worth of ordinance, but instead, as per US urban warfare expert John Spencer from West Point, fighting a brutal urban war unlike any other, where Hamas had over a decade to prepare for (more brutal than even Stalingrad, where the defenders only had months to prepare)). (By way of comparison, around 3-4% of the population of Berlin died in the battle of Berlin at the end of WW2 - but no one claims that was an attempted genocide).
But that can't be right.
Maybe, despite being the most advanced military in the region, if not the world, they're so incompetent at genocide that they kept missing all the civilians they were meant to be targeting with their six atomic bombs' worth of ordinance. World War 2 flying museum pieces would have done a better job than Israeli jets and missiles!
Again, I'm missing something obvious.
But I think I've figured it out. And it's this:
Hamas are lying about the number of Gazans dead.
Of course, the numbers should be 10x what they're reporting: not 3% of the population, but at least 30% of Gazans should be dead.
Not 70K, but 700K, if this is to be a genocide, and not merely a brutal urban war where Hamas is using its own population as human shields.
Hamas is downplaying the number of dead to 90% lower than what they should be for this to be a genocide - that fits the evidence!
So, in conclusion, I think we've figured out the Middle East:
1) Israel is being mind-controlled by President Trump.
2) Hamas have downplayed how many Gazans have died in this war (or should we say, genocide) by 90%.
That all makes perfect sense.
In case you missed it, this was a satire. Sometimes satire helps us make sense of the world around us.
Image: courtesy NBC News, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0IMGKc4phw&t=1s